Spain lost its first match. England has drawn two while France are on the brink of elimination. ‘Nothing is Impossible’ seems to be the theme of this World Cup. So what better way to talk about the World Cup than by discussing those things which surely won’t be happening during this World Cup. This is my list of top 10 things that we won’t see during World Cup 2010:
10.)Samba Magic : “Ronaldo to Rivaldo, Rivaldo to Ronaldinho, Ronaldinho to Roberto Carlos, Carlos to Ronaldo…(Repeated 5 times)…And it’s a GOAL!!!”. That mesmerizing brand of football won’t be seen on the field this year. While Coach Dunga swears by his much touted ‘effective but not entertaining European Style’ of Football, sales of Sholay VCDs have seen an abnormal rise among Samba crazy Brazil Fans…..OK….Bad Joke!
9.)Host Team in the Knock out Rounds: For the first time in 19 World Cups, the host team won't progress beyond the first round of a World Cup and poor Bafana Bafana will be the holders of this dubious distinction. Well, at least it will take the sting out of those Buzzing Vuvuzelas.
8.)Pierluigi Collina: I know he retired before World Cup 2006, but he still deserves to be on this list. The sight of the hairless Italian Referee with those menacing eyes officiating in the World Cup Finals will be sorely missed.
7.)Arun Lal : Cue Celebratory Music and Firecrackers. This World cup is officially ‘Arun Lal Proof'. No more excruciatingly painful - ‘The Team that plays better will win’- kind of insights. No more….wait did I just see Shebby Singh on that ESPN panel. I knew it was too good to be true. WHERE IS THE MUTE BUTTON ON THIS DAMNED REMOTE???
6.)Czech Republic: Rosicky, Matejovsky, Papadopoulos, Vlcek, Ujfalusi, Moravek, Hubschman. None of these delightful sounding yet difficult to pronounce names will be present at the World Cup. Who would have thought that the weaker part of erstwhile Czechoslovakia will undertake the journey to SA while the Czechs cool their heels at home. How I miss supporting the Poborskys and the Smicers. Pavel Nedved, Where Art Thou? (Also Croatia)
5.)Wayne Rooney sent off by a Winking Devil: 34 goals for Club last season and none for the Country. Wayne Rooney sure knows when to score and when not to. In this kind of form, he is more of an asset than a threat to opposition teams. Rest Assured. Nobody will try to get him sent off this year.
4.)A French Legend head butting a slimy Italian defender: For the simple reason that none of those two teams will progress far enough to face each other. And even if they do, then there are no legends left in that French Squad. So all you guys waiting for an encore can safely turn off your TV sets.
3.)Guus Hiddink: Netherlands ’98, South Korea ’02 and Australia ’06. Guss Hiddink had mastered the art of ‘upsetting’ Soccer Giants with relatively unknown teams. The master Strategist couldn’t quite turn Russia ’10 into a reality but it’s the World Cup which is poorer due to his absence. Hope to see him back with Turkey ’14. (Also Luiz Felipe Scolari)
2.)Galacticos: Figo, Zidane, Raul, Ronaldo, Beckham. Each one is capable of single handedly selling out any stadium in the world. It isn’t a surprise then that even C. Ronaldo of Portugal and Ribery of France haven’t been able to fill those huge shoes. And no, C. Ronaldo and Kaka are not Galacticos.
1.)Maradona dancing Naked in the streets of Buenos Aires: Sorry to break the hearts of all Argentina supporters, but this one surely isn’t happening. Argentina are too fragile at the back to go all the way. And before contradicting me, kindly imagine that dastardly scene if they do win. Oh NO,NO,NO. I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Please God, don’t let Argentina win.
10.)Samba Magic : “Ronaldo to Rivaldo, Rivaldo to Ronaldinho, Ronaldinho to Roberto Carlos, Carlos to Ronaldo…(Repeated 5 times)…And it’s a GOAL!!!”. That mesmerizing brand of football won’t be seen on the field this year. While Coach Dunga swears by his much touted ‘effective but not entertaining European Style’ of Football, sales of Sholay VCDs have seen an abnormal rise among Samba crazy Brazil Fans…..OK….Bad Joke!
9.)Host Team in the Knock out Rounds: For the first time in 19 World Cups, the host team won't progress beyond the first round of a World Cup and poor Bafana Bafana will be the holders of this dubious distinction. Well, at least it will take the sting out of those Buzzing Vuvuzelas.
8.)Pierluigi Collina: I know he retired before World Cup 2006, but he still deserves to be on this list. The sight of the hairless Italian Referee with those menacing eyes officiating in the World Cup Finals will be sorely missed.
7.)Arun Lal : Cue Celebratory Music and Firecrackers. This World cup is officially ‘Arun Lal Proof'. No more excruciatingly painful - ‘The Team that plays better will win’- kind of insights. No more….wait did I just see Shebby Singh on that ESPN panel. I knew it was too good to be true. WHERE IS THE MUTE BUTTON ON THIS DAMNED REMOTE???
6.)Czech Republic: Rosicky, Matejovsky, Papadopoulos, Vlcek, Ujfalusi, Moravek, Hubschman. None of these delightful sounding yet difficult to pronounce names will be present at the World Cup. Who would have thought that the weaker part of erstwhile Czechoslovakia will undertake the journey to SA while the Czechs cool their heels at home. How I miss supporting the Poborskys and the Smicers. Pavel Nedved, Where Art Thou? (Also Croatia)
5.)Wayne Rooney sent off by a Winking Devil: 34 goals for Club last season and none for the Country. Wayne Rooney sure knows when to score and when not to. In this kind of form, he is more of an asset than a threat to opposition teams. Rest Assured. Nobody will try to get him sent off this year.
4.)A French Legend head butting a slimy Italian defender: For the simple reason that none of those two teams will progress far enough to face each other. And even if they do, then there are no legends left in that French Squad. So all you guys waiting for an encore can safely turn off your TV sets.
3.)Guus Hiddink: Netherlands ’98, South Korea ’02 and Australia ’06. Guss Hiddink had mastered the art of ‘upsetting’ Soccer Giants with relatively unknown teams. The master Strategist couldn’t quite turn Russia ’10 into a reality but it’s the World Cup which is poorer due to his absence. Hope to see him back with Turkey ’14. (Also Luiz Felipe Scolari)
2.)Galacticos: Figo, Zidane, Raul, Ronaldo, Beckham. Each one is capable of single handedly selling out any stadium in the world. It isn’t a surprise then that even C. Ronaldo of Portugal and Ribery of France haven’t been able to fill those huge shoes. And no, C. Ronaldo and Kaka are not Galacticos.
1.)Maradona dancing Naked in the streets of Buenos Aires: Sorry to break the hearts of all Argentina supporters, but this one surely isn’t happening. Argentina are too fragile at the back to go all the way. And before contradicting me, kindly imagine that dastardly scene if they do win. Oh NO,NO,NO. I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Please God, don’t let Argentina win.
Good one Pai..!
ReplyDeleteGood post, but just to get the facts right, avraam papadopolous is in the greek squad. Also are present patsatzogolou, spyropolous, kostas katsouranis, Giourkas Seitaridis and the best name Sokratis Papastathopoulos (read tht without fumbling).
ReplyDeleteRooney getting sent off wouldnt matter to England, if u look ay his game in last 2 matches. And isnt tht winking devil ur fav player from ur fav .
And sincerely, I missing Sanjay manjrekar and Arun Lal in the commentary box. " The goal was scored because the ball went in the net"
@ RDG Thnx!!!
ReplyDelete@ Mangu i was talkin bout Michal Papadopolous....regarding Greece players i guess this is where the saying 'It all sounds Greek to me' originated....but Czech names are not just difficult to pronounce but also thoroughly enjoyable......ROSISSSCKYYYY!!!
Poi,
ReplyDeleteHere are my views knowing well u don't give a damn about them here :
1)Nothing in this world can take the sting out of the Vuvuzelas except for something stuck up inside it.
2)Count me in to miss Pierluigi Collina....No1 can replace HIS EYES on the field.....
3)I wasn't aware that Pavel Nedved still plays....Thanks for the information..
4)Well as far as wayne rooney is concerned, he is in his own little world...isn't it evident from his game....he's getting no passes and he's out of the totally out of the landscape
5)Will miss Zidane's headbutt.....But who knows, some creative guy may come up with something ore dramatic....But he surely won't be a legened as Zidane
6) I too am not too keen on seeing Maradona naked on the streets of Beunos Aires.....But looking at the promising teams left behind, I'd rather that Argentina wins....Messi! Messi! Messi!